Listening

This week has been all about listening.  Listening to my body, listening to the voices in my head, NOT listening to the gummy bears that are in the snack station in my basement that for the 1st two weeks were LITERALLY calling my name!

Something has changed this week.  I'm not hungry! My FB support group said this would happen but after a lifetime of consuming more food than one individual should consume and thinking that was normal - I didn't really buy it. Even others who I have talked to about doing this with me have said being hungry is one of their biggest concerns.  However, as I'm learning, my FBSG (easier than writing Facebook Support Group all the time) was right - again!  I love that!  Listening to my body tell me I'm not hungry and after only 5 chicken wings, I was FULL had me in actual disbelief.  5 chicken wings? That's ridiculous!  That's what those silly, super skinny women say [don't judge me], "Oh my God [I'm my best Valley Girl voice], I am SOOOO full! I had FIVE chicken wings!"[I know - why does someone who is skinny have to have a Valley Girl voice and in my head, be blonde and from California?  I'm bitter - I know].  My usual reaction would have been something along the lines of rolling my eyes and saying, "Yeah, SAME! I had 3 kernels of popcorn and I don't know if I'll be able to eat for the rest of the week!".  [Something that rhymes with the word itch would have probably followed under my breath, but I won't actually say it]. Now....in a way less snarky tone, I would genuinely say..."Hey, me too!".  It's CRAZY! Portion sizes always seemed absurd to me.  Girl scout cookie boxes are single serving size, right? *grin*

Who eats like that? Oh yeah, I do now! It's pretty cool but trying to convince my head that it's real is a whole other story.  I WAS full after the 5 chicken wings but they were SOOO yummy (just plain fried chicken wings with salt and pepper) that I pushed another 2 in.  Mistake, I know.  I need to LISTEN to my body and believe what it is saying to me and ignore the voice in my head that has been programmed for years to use food for what I want, not what I need. It keeps telling me, "It's not possible you are really full!  Keep going!" Food has always been comforting, it's social, it's experiences and status and accomplishment.  Something I always thought was part of my need to control was actually controlling me.

So head, listen up.  This is your body speaking.  We really need to work together if this thing is going to work out for us both.  You've been on cruise control for a long time now but we really need you to stand up and take charge because we can't win this without you. We, your collective body parts, will continue to give you positive feedback but you need to keep working and keep driving this bus.  We're counting on you and we believe in you.  You've got this!

Yes, I've got this. I'm listening.